Mary’s Upper Room Prayer
I am sitting in the upper room, numb with pain, alone in shock
The day of hell that You endured, has left you buried behind a Rock.
Today is Saturday: the Sabbath Rest, and yet I find no peace in this.
Oh Jesus you’re dead, buried and gone, and in this upper room I mourn.
I loved You as a mother could, every ounce of strength and guidance would
I give to you my first born Son, if only I could be the one.
But Savior Jesus, I know that You came to die, to set me free and as
Your mother I accept this death and sit here waiting for the promise kept.
In this upper room, I wait, the ache in my heart, the silent grave.
The fear of what is yet to come, the knowledge You were the Promised One.
What does it mean Messiah Christ, that You would willingly give Your life?
So in this upper chamber I wait and cry to God my soul to take.
I recall the day that you were born, in a cold dark cave that blessed morn.
And now again you are in a cave of stone, only this time all alone.
There are no shepherds, no earthly father, I can’t come near You, yet I am Your mother.
Behind the rock you are wrapped in clothe,as you were the day of Your birth;
Yet this time we cry out in anguish, in pain and the tears that flow are not of joy,but of deep agony for my little boy.
I ponder these things as I morn, and search for the truth in why You came to earth.
The words of the angel come to my mind, you are the Son of the Most High,
Your name is Jesus, the Lord Saves, so perhaps this death is not in vain.
It must be part of a greater plan,something I can’t see or understand, as Your body lies cold, in a borrowed grave,
I’ll wait to see my Jesus raised.
There is hope in my heart, as I recalled the angel’s words to this once young girl,
That Your kingdom will never come to an end; and so my son Your life may return again.
I don’t know how, I must only believe, as I once did long ago when I conceived;
And again I offer this prayer to God: I am the Lord’s servant, may it be as You have said.
It is Saturday evening after Your death, the upper room is quiet though none have slept.
The tension is felt, of the great unknown, the life we have led seems completely undone,
And yet we all wait,
Today in a fog,
Not certain what to do or say,
Not even sure there’s a God.
But I know You are there with a bigger plan and I’ll wait in this room to hear Your command.
I am Your servant Lord and I will believe, even when the heart is aching, when there is deep grief.
This in between place of blind faith in Your Sovereignty is all I have to rest on in this dark upper room.
I say a silent prayer to the One who keeps the earth on its axis and the waters of the deep,
I surrender my all to the One God in heaven and ask Him to grant peace to
The eleven disciples who followed my Son Jesus Christ, who believed in His mission, who followed His life,
That in His death, they may hang onto a hope
That comes only from God, the Son and Holy Ghost.
© Mary Selby 4/11/2009