If someone were to ask you what it means to be a Christian, what would you say? Would you begin with a list of things you do? Would you rattle off the things you don’t do? Would you appeal to good behavior and your definition of holy living? Would your list include the proverbial, “I don’t smoke, and I don’t chew, and I don’t go with girls who do.”
Being a christian is not about you and the things you do or don’t do, but as Paul stated to those at the church of Corinth, it is about intimately knowing Christ and Him crucified. “For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2). He judged that the most important thing was his continued growth in his intimate knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.
In Romans 14:17-19 Paul says, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking 
but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.”
Throughout Romans, Paul laid out his defense of Christianity, placing it entirely on the finished work of Jesus Christ. Our role is to present ourselves to God as living sacrifices, just as Jesus did for us upon the cross. We are found holy and acceptable through Jesus’ shed blood alone and therefore we have nothing in which we can boast about, as Jesus has done it all. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Thus Christian living is about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit, walking in love with our brothers and sisters in Christ, and not causing them grief by imposing one’s personal checklist for good behavior upon them. “So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding, (Romans 14:19).
The list of do’s and don’ts in the following passage can only be lived out through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin (Romans 14:13-23).
Once again it boils down to loving God and others as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Our measuring stick is not the behavior of our Christian brothers and sisters, so we can prove to ourselves what good little Christians we are, but rather, our measuring stick is the cross of Christ, splintered, bloodied, and a price we could not pay on our own. Our righteousness is as filthy rags and our salvation is in Jesus alone. Know Christ and Him crucified to gauge your growth, and love your fellow believer by building them up and living in peace.