Worship, from a place of brokenness, is profound and life altering. God desires a broken and contrite heart, one that is seeking Him above all else. In John 12, we find Mary demonstrating what seeking Jesus above all else looks like. Coming to Jesus, with her head uncovered and her heart wide open, she kneels before her Lord and drenches Him with the precious oil that was once preserved in her unbroken alabaster jar. Everything about her behavior was counter culture and Judas was quick to point it out as waste, but this is the worship that happens around the throne of God eternally, and Mary brought a little portion of heavenly worship to earth that day.
A sacrifice of worship must cost us something, or it is not a form of surrender at all. Two hearts are observed in the following verses, one of brokenness and authentic love for Jesus and the other from one who talked the religious talk, but had never surrendered his heart to the Lord.
Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was who had been dead, whom He had raised from the dead. There they made Him a supper; and Martha served, but Lazarus was one of those who sat at the table with Him. Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil. But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, who would betray Him, said, “Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” This he said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the money box; and he used to take what was put in it.
But Jesus said, “Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial. For the poor you have with you always, but Me you do not have always.”
Mary demonstrated what reckless love toward God looks like, ignoring what the societal norms were or who was in the room watching. She turned her eyes upon Jesus, looked full in His wonderful face and the things of earth grew strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. She in that moment of brokenness, grew more in love with her Lord and more like Him. We too can experience the same.
There will come a time, as we grow as worshipers of Jesus, where we will be required to pour out the most precious thing before the Lord as a form of worship and frankly it should happened every time we come into His presence with singing and into His courts with praise. But God will bring us to a place where His voice is whispering, “Will you praise me even in this?” It is this broken song, this place of wrecked worship where we are transformed and drawn deeper into the knowledge of Him.
I long to drink of you, O God, drinking deeply from the streams of pleasure flowing from your presence. My longings overwhelm me for more of you! My soul thirsts, pants, and longs for the living God. I want to come and see the face of God.
Day and night my tears keep falling and my heart keeps crying for your help while my enemies mock me over and over, saying, “Where is this God of yours? Why doesn’t he help you?”
So I speak over my heartbroken soul, “Take courage. Remember when you used to be right out front leading the procession of praise when the great crowd of worshipers gathered to go into the presence of the Lord? You shouted with joy as the sound of passionate celebration filled the air and the joyous multitude of lovers honored the festival of the Lord!:
So then, my soul, why would you be depressed? Why would you sink into despair? Just keep hoping and waiting on God, your Savior. For no matter what, I will still sing with praise, for living before his face is my saving grace! Psalm 42 TPT